I woke up 32 this morning to the sounds of Zoey calling Nicholas over and over to wake him up and start the day. He didn’t wake up, but I did. I picked her up and got a nice hug for the morning and we hung out on the couch with my coffee and some cartoons. If I would have stayed with my great plan some years ago Zoey wouldn’t exist yet since I didn’t plan on having any kids until I was 30. Apparently this baby planning thing takes two people so I was fortunately a couple years off.

KT won tickets to see Under the Sea at the Imax yesterday so all of us trundled down South and grabbed some of the last seats in the auditorium. Nick liked the show and Zoey mainly danced around in the aisle to the music. She didn’t want to wear the glasses and dancing seemed like a better proposition. Works for me. Usually I’m too uptight and tell her to go sit, but sometimes I can let go. Sometimes I can’t. It helps that I just finished a good run for me earlier which brings a fair amount of peace to me. I could use it so I think I’ll stick to this running thing for a while.

I’ve been going to sleep many nights lately with anxiety about the realities of life and death and I’ll often lay for some minutes/hours/days attempting to reason or make peace with myself. Ultimately, I understand that it doesn’t matter, but for someone as controlling as I am it is a tough pill to swallow. I come to the same conclusion every time though, the monks have it right with the beauty of impermanence. We draw many paths that will lead us back to ourselves and then we are particles in the stream. What I know now is the great love of my family and friends, good coffee and runner’s high. So thanks for making me Mom!